Not For Anything will be temporarily down from Amazon, but should be back up soon!

I'm not super happy to be making this post, but I thought I should in case any one noticed and was concerned. I have changed a LOT as a person since I wrote Not For Anything in High-School to Late Teens, I'm 23 now. I was obviously a different person back then with different beliefs.

In the original text of the book, Sadie and Matty basically enter into a romantic relationship with each other, though they never really talk about what their relationship should be called or put a label on it. I also would say it is mostly Sadie that pushes their relationship in the romantic direction. At the time I wrote that, I thought that that was fine, but I've grown a lot as a person since then.

Especially since this book is aimed at somewhat younger audiences, I thought it was important to go back and take out the explicit romantic implications of Sadie and Matty's relationship in the book as it doesn't line up with my current beliefs anymore. That is why the book is down, right now, it is-down for repairs-urgh. -_-

I am going back through now and making their relationship more. . .ambiguous, rather than straight up strong in lesbian overtones. The reason I chose to leave some in, is when I was a teenage, I struggled with same-sex attraction and all types on confusion, and I don't think having such desires made me a bad person, they were just desires I shouldn't act on, like any other kind of bad desire. But just having the attraction doesn't make you a bad person, it's acting on it and indulging in it that is the mistake.

So, I'm torn, I'm still torn, I'm in prayer, because I think adolescents, especially in this time when our world and culture is beyond confused and messed up, do sometimes suffer from same-sex attraction, and I feel there is a place for that to be represented, within its proper context as something that needs to be worked through, and with God's help, eventually conquered, in literature and media.

In the next installment of the Matty Prescon series that, fingers crossed, maybe, I will publish, in 2024, Sadie and Matty's relationship goes through a change, which I will not spoil, and Matty ends up realizing that while Sadie was/is important to her as a friend, she realizes their relationship became a bit distorted later. So, even within the text of the original series, Matty and Sadie, in a romantic way, was never end-game. Spoilers, I guess.

But Birth Pangs, the third installment, has still, urgh, yet to come out. . . So, no one could even read through that conclusion yet, and again, it bothered me that young readers may be reading Not For Anything as it was out previously. The last thing I want to do is lead someone to sin with my work, or awake in them a sinful desire they didn't even know they had. That is literally, like, my nightmare, and it's weighed upon my conscience.

And if you're in a homosexual relationship now, please don't be offended by reading this. I was once in a homosexual relationship too, and everyone grows in their relationship with Christ at a different pace and everyone needs to seek guidance from Him through much, much prayer. Maybe you don't even know Him yet, Lord Jesus Christ, but He loves you, just as you are right now, and He is your Lord and Savior and He died for your sins. He loves you so much He died for you. So don't feel like you are a person with little worth or feel too ashamed to reach out to Him; to ask for guidance, to ask for counsel, and leadership, or forgiveness, and pray deeply always, for the Lord will be with you if you just ask Him.

Taking down the book in its original form was what I, personally, felt called to do. I wanted to do this, so I'm doing it.

I will try to leave as much of the original text unchanged as possible and again, I am not taking away all the implications that Sadie and Matty's relationship in the book may be skewing into not strictly platonic territory. As again, I think there is a place for adolescents with such desires to feel seen, and it's, whether we like it or not, something some of them will experience, but I wanted to remove all the explicit acts of a same-sex romance, because young readers may be reading the book.

My goal was also to make it, in the updated version, that Sadie and Matty's relationship can be now read either way, as a very intense friendship, that borders on being co-dependent at times, or as a young, confused sort of sex-same romance.

I'm still torn, and I'm still confused, and I'm honestly kind of pouring out my heart in this post. But at this time, I feel this is the right course of action.

I hope you understand my decision, and do not worry, the book will be back up, as soon as I can manage to get it back up, my goal is maybe in a week or so. I may also take the chance to go through and make any other edits that need to be made to it before throwing it back up there for sale.

So again, I make this with no hate in my heart towards anyone, and only the desire to do what is right and pleasing to the Lord, and I humbly ask Him for more guidance in prayer. But this has weighed on me for some time, so I hope you can respect my decision to slightly alter some of the text to better line up with my beliefs and convictions now, as a more mature human being, who is closer to God.

Please know it is my goal to return the book soon to you all.

To any parents, who were offended by the original content within the novel, I am truly sorry to you and your children. I was practically a child myself when I wrote it, if not an actual one, and I was confused myself, and working through a lot of things. Please know it was never my intent to hurt anyone or lead anyone into sin or temptation and I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart and only ask humbly that you find it in your heart to forgive me.

Thank you to everyone for reading. I hope to have the book back up soon, thank you very much for always being kind to me.